Own Your Dough: Because Store-Bought Is for Quitters

Now that it’s just me, the hubs, and a fridge full of condiments nobody remembers buying, we’ve found ourselves with a lot more time—and not enough distractions. After watching Bones reruns like we haven’t already solved those crimes 14 times, and realizing Monopoly for two is just capitalism with extra eye rolls, we started cooking together.

Shocking, I know. But here's the kicker: we made bread. And not just any bread—we made this bread. It's soft, it’s savory, it smells like you know what you’re doing in the kitchen, and most importantly, it tastes like you’ve got your life together even if you cried in the shower this morning.

This recipe was inspired by one from Ashley Adamant, but naturally, I Sherbear’d it. Because let’s face it: life’s too short for flavorless carbs or bread machine loaf shapes that look like sad toasters.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup lukewarm water (~100°F, not lava, not bathwater—lukewarm)

• 1/3 cup milk

• 3 Tbsp butter (and I mean real butter—don’t even look at margarine)

• 3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour (bread flour works, but I prefer good ol’ AP)

• 3 Tbsp sugar

• 1/4 + 1/8 cup Everything Bagel Seasoning (yes, that’s oddly specific, but trust me)

• 2 tsp bread machine or Rapid Rise yeast

• 1 12x4 loaf pan or 2 9x5 loaf pans

Instructions:

1. Pour the water, milk, and melted butter into your bread machine pan. Easy.

2. Mix your flour and Everything Bagel Seasoning together like the culinary rebel you are, then dump it on top of the liquids.

3. Sprinkle that sugar and yeast on top of the flour pile—don’t stir, don’t question it.

4. Set your machine to the Dough cycle. If your machine doesn’t have one, it’s officially time to retire it to the appliance graveyard and get one that isn’t older than your high school diploma.

5. Once the dough is done, yank it out and lovingly punch it into shape.

   • Using 1 pan? Roll that sucker into one glorious loaf.

   • Using 2 pans? Split it like you split the last roll at Thanksgiving—calculated and fair.

6. Lightly spray the dough with cooking spray (it’s not a tanning bed, just a mist), toss it in the loaf pan(s), cover it with a clean cloth or towel, and let it rise in a warm place for about 30–45 minutes or until it looks like it’s showing off.

7. Bake at 375°F for 35 minutes.

   • Bonus tip: If the top’s starting to look like it’s been in the sun too long, loosely cover it with foil (shiny side away from the bread) after 10 minutes.

8. Once done, remove from the pans and cool on a wire rack. And yes, the recipe says to cool completely, but let’s be honest—if you don’t tear into that warm, buttery goodness the second it’s cool enough not to burn your fingerprints off, are you even living?

Storage:

Keep it in an airtight container—if there’s any left to store. Around here, it’s usually gone before it has a chance to see tomorrow.